We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Vagenius

by Rachel Lark

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes with beautiful artwork from Evan Spiler

    Includes unlimited streaming of Vagenius via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 15 days

      $15 USD or more 

     

1.
You say I'm not your type Well I guess you can't change what you like But if what you like is what society likes and society is sick Then maybe you're a dick I'm not sure what you mean by "chill" I party, do drugs, and I'm on the pill But I've been noticing that you're kinda preferential for the meek and the skinny and the deferential Hey, your liberal arts degree ain't reflected in your browser history Hey you, "cultured guy" You like it when they listen, not when they reply Hey you, I'm not crazy You just kinda hate girls, a little Spittin' on your hand is not foreplay I guess no one told you we get wet another way I get that you're deterred by my pussy being hairy But I went through puberty and lookin' 12 is kinda scary You say it is the condom, but it is my self-esteem My eagerness for sex, and my demands for clarity Whatever it is that's killing your boner Just eat my fuckin' pussy you misogynistic stoner Hey, your liberal arts degree ain't reflected in your browser history Hey you, "cultured guy" You like it when they listen, not when they reply Hey you, I'm not crazy You just kinda hate girls, a little Yeah, you think abortions are great and you'd even pay for half And you won't be intimidated when a woman buys your gas But think about what you're perpetuating When you say I'm not right for actual dating You've left me with a very awkward choice I can only shine so bright if I want a boy! Hey, your liberal arts degree ain't reflected in your browser history Hey you, "cultured guy" You like it when they listen, not when they reply Hey you, I'm not crazy You just kinda hate girls, a little
2.
Surprise 05:38
I met a guy He was good lookin' as can be He said "Hi!" I said, "What? Oh, are you talking to me?" He said, "Yeah. I like your hair. Say, does it curl the same down there?" I said, "Whoa! That's kinda fast for me, but go ahead and won't you see if our tongues agree..." And I was in heaven. It was like a Hollywood film. And we were electric. I gave in to my weak will. And he threw his clothes on the bed, and I could see that his dick was the size of my head. And my eyes grew wide as he grabbed my thighs and I let out a sigh as he eased inside. And I realized, this is one of the many things they don't teach you in health class They don't tell you that a penis that size could hurt you if you go too fast. But why would they? They don't tell you shit. Like they don't tell you that an IUD is gonna poke the penis of the guy you're screwin' And they don't tell you that HPV is just expected with the sexual acts you're doin' And they don't tell you that when you ovulate there are these cysts that develop that you can irritate and then SURPRISE! Sometimes he'll bust a nut, and he'll bust yours too I tried to be cool. I figured big dicks just feel this way. But I couldn't fool him. He stopped and said, "What's going on? Are you ok?" I said, "No. I'm not sure what's up." I left the room. I grabbed my phone and looked the symptoms up. Sharp pain on the right of my abdomen. Appendicitis was inside of us, lovemakin'. So I freaked out. Kicked the hottie out of my apartment. I let out a shout. My roommate heard and said, "What's up, darlin'?" I said, "I don't know! My stomach hurts! Either god hates girls or my appendix burst!" And she rushed me off to the hospital. I wasn't thinkin' that this guy was responsible. The doctor asked, "Why do you think that your appendix burst?" I said, "Because it hurts there, asshole. And webMD gave me the red alert." He said, "No it's just a ruptured cyst on your ovary, so won't you go ahead home, Miss." I said, "Wait! Was it because this guy's dick was so huge? I need to know for the future. Should I dodge the splooge of gigantic, gorgeous penises attached to really cute guys? It's kinda bleak, but maybe there's another way, like some new technique I could try?" But he wouldn't tell me 'Cause they don't tell you shit. Like they don't tell you that an out of network ER visit will cost you $5,000. And they don't tell you why you're still in pain even though it's been six or seven hours. And they don't tell you that when you ovulate there are these fucking cysts that develop that you could irritate and then SURPRISE! Sometimes he'll bust a nut, and he'll bust yours too. So now I know, and I have hormonal birth control. And that means no annoying cysts, so I relax when I make love. But I'm still not exactly sure, was it bad luck or was the fuckin' what got me hurt? And since no one takes my question seriously I'm afraid of a guy with a big willie. 'Cause they don't tell you that an IUD is gonna poke the penis of the guy you're screwin' And they don't tell you that HPV is just expected with the sexual acts you're doin' And they don't tell you that when you ovulate there are these cysts that develop that you can irritate and then SURPRISE! Sometimes he'll bust a nut, and he'll bust yours too
3.
Some shit went down last night Yeah it's kind of intense My best friend and roommate became my best friend with benefits What do you call that? When the person with whom you share your life might now also share your bed, maybe every other night Well you told me you loved me when we were best friends But now that we're bangin' it kinda depends Uncharted Territory Well you told me you loved me when we were best friends but now that we're bangin' it kinda depends Uncharted Territory Are you afraid we might like it now? You know me better than anyone And we already have a lot of fun But now we can hurt each other And I'll never have another you I'll always have another lover Fuck! I'm fucking my best friend What did we do that night? That shit was clearly a mistake We just got too relaxed and started drinking wine too late But we do that all the time And we've been doing it for years Could it be that we've been blind to something that's always been here? It's hard to imagine what this even means You see we've already met the parents and we share our bills And we split our groceries Where's the playbook when we're already domestic And how do I go back now that I know you got the best dick, oh shit! Oh no, it's happening again We'll figure it out tomorrow baby just give in Well I told you I loved you when we were best friends but now that we're bangin' it kinda depends Uncharted Territory Well I told you I loved you when we were best friends but now that we're bangin' it kinda depends Uncharted Territory Well we used to say I love all the time But now we're scared to look into each other's eyes Now I love you feels intense to say But we don't really know another way to express the fear in my heart That what pulled us together might tear us apart Fuck! I'm fucking my best friend Did we even consider that this could be fun? You know me, I'm not one to run from a good time We know all the land mines We're not each other's type But we'll settle for a soft rhyme It's weird because we met when we were 18. But if we saw each other on a dating app screen We would swipe that shit right And we'd go out tonight So I think that it's worth it let's give it a try Well we seem to love each other a lot And if you ask me I'd say that's a good start Uncharted territory Well we seem to love each other a lot And if you ask me I'd say that's a good start Uncharted territory Well I think we might like it now Fuck yeah! I'm fuckin' my best friend
4.
Come a little closer let me look at your eyes Might be familiar and it might be a surprise You got a thing for me I got a thing for you too Don't let this slip by, we both know what to do See I just want you to fulfill every single need that I have Make me feel better whenever I'm feeling sad Renew my faith that really this life ain't so bad You give me the gift of the good when you kiss me like that I can feel it all over Every word every line every breath every tone Every hum every stretch every sigh every moan Sends a message to you Oh baby, I'm trying to break through You won't believe it 'til you see it Come check out what I do See I just want you to fulfill every single need that I have Make me feel better whenever I'm feeling sad Renew my faith that really this life ain't so bad You give me the gift of the good when you kiss me like that I can feel it all over
5.
So Cold 04:13
The ghosts that rest on my spine Weighing more than the sand bags of time Grip so tight, I can hardly breathe Breathe so cold I think I might freeze So cold so comes the rain, washing out my tattered mane So cold relieves the pain shooting down my side So cold can't feel a thing, Never knew that anything was So cold as that look you gave me when you died Nothing stings like the truth Nothing burns like the coldness of you Nothing tastes like this air you don't breathe Nothing sounds like this room you won't leave So cold so comes the rain, washing out my tattered mane So cold relieves the pain shooting down my side So cold can't feel a thing, Never knew that anything was So cold as that look you gave me when you died
6.
Jammin' in C 04:21
Why does your tragedy appeal to me? I'm not guilty anymore Am I longing for a land I'm not from, but visited when I was young? You say we mirror one another But when I look at you, I see myself in pain 'Cause it felt like jammin' in C For a few hours, just jammin' in C It was easy, you and me. For a few hours, just jammin' in C Lately I've given up wanting things from love I just accept it as a thing I've got to rise above So don't you ever say we know anything at all I'll be the first to admit I'm the biggest sucker of them all Yeah, there's no such thing as wrong decisions There's just what you want And right now I want you to be less broken and in California 'Cause it felt like jammin' in C For a few hours, just jammin' in C It was easy, you and me. For a few hours there, just jammin' in C 'Cause it felt like jammin' in C For a few hours, just jammin' in C Yeah, I got you and you got me We were jammin' in C jammin' in C Jammin' in C
7.
I've got a lot of fear inside I get upset and full of pride I know you've got things to say That could make the pain go away But baby, that won't do I don't want soothing, I wanna feel this feeling through Spare your advice for me I don't want no remedy There's comfort in your certainty so don't wait anymore Shut up and hit me I have wounds that feel exactly right and I have dreams that keep me up at night I have screams that shatter anything polite and I have faults that challenge this to be alright But baby, let it out I don't want kindness. I wanna freak the neighbors out. Spare your advice for me I don't want no remedy There's comfort in your certainty so don't wait anymore Shut up and hit me
8.
For The Guys 09:56
It's confusing being a boy Wanting to fuck everything in sight Sometimes it's an inner fight Yeah some girls They'll play with my head They'll say they want in one minute then change their minds when they're already in bed It's not fair, no really it's such a tease These girls need to learn to clearly express their wants and needs They change their minds so how's a guy to know is she playing games or does "No" really mean No? Well... If you're not sure it's not rape, don't do it! If it feels a little bit rapey just don't do it! Yeah if you're not sure that it ain't, then leave your dick right next to your taint yeah if you're not sure it's not rape then just don't do it! It's confusing being a bro! Girls can fuck whoever they want. They really run the show. They lead us on, and accept our drinks! Yeah, they're asking for it, then they act surprised! It happens more than you think! It's not fair! No really, it's such a tease These girls need to learn to clearly express their wants and needs so hold a workshop! Teach these girls right now how to say no, 'cause clearly they don't know how! Well... If you're not sure it's not rape, don't do it! If it feels a little bit rapey just don't do it! Yeah if you're not sure that it ain't, then leave your dick right next to your taint yeah if you're not sure it's not rape then just don't do it! If you're thinking that you wanna fuck someone I ain't trying to ruin your fun All that you gotta do Is make sure they wanna fuck you back Yeah, make sure they wanna fuck you back Yeah, make damn motherfucking sure they wanna fuck you back Oh yeah you're looking for that eye contact And that deliberate touch that wants you to touch back Those sighs of pleasure, ooh the release of tension Because you see it's very important for me to mention that some women have internalized their sexual objectification Which can sometimes lead to some bodily alienation And add to that the likelihood of trauma (about 1 in 3) And you've got yourself what I would call a perfect recipe for some fear and confusion greetin' you in that bad Suddenly you're an intrusion in their body and in their head A freeze response is just one reason that women might not say "no" So before you penetrate somebody else you should make sure fo sho Yeah the rules are very simple And this is how you play Don't fuck someone who ain't on board 100% of the way Now boys I know that things can be real hard for you too. Women lead you on sometimes, yes it's true. And being disappointed is never any fun. And sortin' these things out is easier said than done. Well I'm not trying to belittle it. Here's your small violin you can fiddle it. It's just fucking consent, so deal with it! Lesson 2 will be how to find the clit I'm sick and tired of having this basic conversation, but women are still being forced into sex all over the whole nation. And I'm tired, so tired. When will it end? Maybe they just don't see these wounds that won't mend. What will it take? To get this to change? I bare my soul and tell my story every fuckin' day. "No means no" is simple enough but "Yes means yes" is what we need more of Well if you're not sure it's not rape, don't do it! If it seems a little bit rapey, just don't do it! If you're not sure that it ain't, leave your dick right next to your taint. Yeah if that girl is underage, leave your dick right next to your taint. Yeah if she's asleep on the couch, leave your dick right next to your taint. Yeah if she’s had six or seven beers, leave your dick right next to your taint. Yeah, if you're not sure if it's rape then just don't do it!
9.
On Our Own 04:26
Well the box is out of tissues and the sky is out of stars And my journal’s out of pages and my body’s out of scars And I’m out of things to say to you and I’m out of ways to feel I’m out of things to do and I’m out of hearts to steal So I’ll just pretend I’m not alone I’ll just pretend I’m not out here on my own Well the night has fallen softly and the fog has settled in And I’ve crossed out every god damn item on my to-do list So there’s nothing left to do but have a seat and sit And try and try to feel like a part of it Let’s just pretend we’re not alone Let’s just pretend we’re not out here on our own
10.
Yay for Nick 03:49
This song is just more self-absorbed, self-referential bullshit That I wrote to prove how much I care This ain't about you, it's about how I need you to talk to about my day This ain't about you, it's about how I miss you Whenever you're away This ain't about you, it's about how you sum up so much in everything you say This ain't about you, it's about me not blowing it on your birthday Hey Nick, I'd love to write a song about you but I can't deny This is all about me and how much I fucking need you to never die Don't matter what bottle we're sippin' You get me sober and you get me trippin' Yay for Nick! Never die! This ain't about you yellin' at me in the SU, saying I should play American Pie If it were, I would have done that by now Fuck it, here I'll try... Hey Nick, I'd love to finish that song but I've got more to say I depend on you and derive a lot of value from your presence in my day I wouldn't be me if it weren't for you That's not an overstatement, it's fucking true Yay for Nick! Never die! This ain't about you or cookies or penguins or 2CB Or parties or Zeppelin Don't you get it? This is all about me! It's about how I love you so much it feels like a gift It's not even my birthday, it's yours, but fuck it You'll probably forgive and forget Hey Nick, I kinda wrote a song about you and I hope you know I'll always be there no matter what happens or where we go Don't matter if it's you or me slippin' One of us will help the other We're very uplifting Yay for Nick! Never die! Yay for Nick! Never die!
11.
Fuck 69 03:57
Love of mine I think it's time We've been comfortable for quite some time Now you is fine And I don't whine But hittin' the sack can often lack an element of surprise My self-help books and Oprah too Say I should be making better love to you My women's groups and my guru Talk about the levels we could get into I'm sick of making love the way that we made babies Don't be lazy Let's get crazy! Oooooh, let's try 69 Now I lie down, no wait You lie down, hang on Where are my feet supposed to go? I'm up against the wall Ok, then you scoot down And I sit down Ow! Why'd you bite me? What the fuck!? I"m doing this for you, I hope you know Not every woman would expose herself so Are we doing it yet? Did it start? Honestly I'm kinda scared that I might fart Where's your hard on? Where'd it go? Geez, what the hell am I supposed to blow? Ooooh, let's try 69! Is this how it's supposed to feel? Honestly I'm insecure and mad Maybe I don't need nothing new You like fucking me, and I like fucking you It's such a tease, my clit's turned purple No one's satisfied in a massage circle No one can relax I just want your dick inside me and your eyes on mine Just like every lay we've had Fuck 69! Now fuck me hard, and fuck me deep Grab my ass and then give my tits a squeeze Kiss me deeply Pull my hair I won't cum 'til you do babe, Hey, it's only fair Now honestly you just can't beat banging 'til you're cummin' simultaneously Belly to belly and face to face Dick to pussy everything in its place Missionary always does the trick I'm a vanilla chick who likes fuckin' dick Ooooh, fuck 69!
12.
All of my life I’ve been searching for a path that allows me to be Having a shit ton of fun while disrupting the patriarchy And last night I heard a story that made my cisgendered heart pound and wish that I had a magnificent cock instead of a furry mound I wanna be a gay man on the west coast I can honestly say it would be better that way for most So let’s all be gay men on the west coast Having orgies together in the nice, warm weather with the fanciest leather Sister Flora will be our host I wanna be slutty like it’s political and funny like it’s my job I wanna be bangin’ nice young men with good hygiene instead of some bro-y slob I wanna be hungry for dick and say so and make everyone laugh with delight I wanna be sexy as hell and horny as well and quenching my appetite I wanna be a gay man on the west coast I can honestly say it would be better that way for most So let’s all be gay men on the west coast Having orgies together in the nice, warm weather with the fanciest leather Sister Flora will be our host I wanna be normal for having orgies and radical for having kids I wanna be edgy for wearing makeup and sporting massive, gorgeous tits I wanna be tough and strong as fake nails are long and militantly fun I want to avoid the fate of the boring and straight and I bet I’m not the only one who wants to be a gay man on the west coast I can honestly say it would be better that way for most So let’s all be gay men on the west coast Having orgies together in the nice, warm weather with the fanciest leather Sister Flora will be our host
13.
You squeeze into your jeans Kiss me on the cheek as you leave It's always fun, til it's all done And I still feel like I want something more I want something deep I want something nobody else ever sees I want to touch you there And I really don't mind the hair You only live once so let me lick your asshole I know it's scary and sometimes hairy But I want to know you, Jerry For what are we waiting? Why bother dating? You only live once so let's stop hesitating I get that you fear it might make you queer But wouldn't that news be useful to hear? C'mon lemme see 'em! Your cheeks and your perineum That cute little starfish, your scrotum and lingam, Give it a wash, rinse and repeat An enema is better than the risk of disease (that's true) Now you're feeling hot So fresh and so clean Give me a taste of those fresh salad greens! You only live once so let me lick your asshole Just 'cause you're straight Don't mean you got no prostate Babe that wasn't no mistake when I slipped onto your taint Let me in! It ain't no sin! Yeah, that freaky little pink I wanna get kinky in the stink Don't bother trimmin' Don't mind the linens I'll be winnin' I'm gonna be rimmin' YOUUUUUUUU! You only live once so let me lick your asshole
14.
There's no package There's no case There's no cleaning cloth For the microphone of misery, the megaphone of thought It's finicky as can be Its parts can't be replaced It's custom-made, and always played And hard to simulate This delicate machinery You can't leave it behind No you must take it everywhere And use it all the time But this time you did it for sure just admit it You finally broke your voice You finally broke your voice You finally broke your voice Well you tried and tried but you failed and failed and you finally broke your voice Sometimes things go left unsaid But usually they don't No usually this instrument of yours will go for broke 'Cause anger hates to be silenced and contentment could hardly care less Yeah they say to relax and to take deep breaths But the music erupts in my chest And you know it's better to build from the bottom up and take it slow, and learn to float before you're in charge of the boat But this time you did it for sure just admit it You finally broke your voice You finally broke your voice You finally broke your voice Well you tried and tried but you failed and failed and you finally broke your voice Yeah your shit don't work and you'll have to give up this silly fuckin' cherade Yeah, who's special now, little girl? Good luck. Your youth is starting to fade Back when you could not shut up You should have held your tongue You should have done less drugs and gone to school for writing songs But this time you did it for sure just admit it You finally broke your voice
15.
Some people praise God, go to church and shit Me, I don't believe a word of it They look to their book for morality All's I got is my love of humanity Plus my Acid and Hot Springs It's all I need! Acid and Hot Springs Oh yeah! Acid and Hot Springs Some go to a church, some to a mosque Some people go to a synagogue Me, I like to take the weekend off. Get into nature with the trees and rocks and eat some Acid and Hot Springs That's all I need! Acid and Hot Springs Oh yeah! Acid and Hot Springs Some people will judge and say I'm going to hell But if there's thermal pools below I'll be just swell I never ever talked to a higher power But I have been really high in an ice cold shower, it's nice! So live and let live and go do your thing I'm expanding my mind and letting freedom ring. Just 'cause you could be jailed for it don't make it illegitimate. This is how I celebrate the mystery of the human race Oh, you haters gonna hate but I still got my Acid and Hot Springs That's all I need! Acid and Hot Springs It's not that deep! Acid and Hot Springs
16.
No one did the dishes It's been a week, that's disgraceful The faucet was dripping That's terribly wasteful There's coffee mugs sticky with liquor and wine And it's likely the plant in the bathroom has died I'm ashamed of the state of our house, that's no lie But I'm also ashamed of the ways that I try to act like a grown up, when clearly I'm not So for now I'll give up and just smoke some more pot and say Bless this mess that we live in Oh, bless this mess that we live in All this shit we don't fix, 'cause we're still 26 And the age when we call ourselves grown ups just keeps getting older and older older and older There's clusters of rainbows from the prism in the window on the gold sheets on the futon and the bunny-shaped pillow and the plants that aren't dead yet and that table we like and the bong that's not broken and our LED lights and I gotta say I'm proud when I bask in the echoes of laughter and good points and people who let go and exquisite taste and a vibe that's sublime but sometimes I worry we're wasting our time But bless this mess that we live in Oh, bless this mess that we live in I just don't wanna clean and I'm not in my teens But the age when we call ourselves grown ups just keeps getting older and older older and older Well I'm scared and inspired and crazy and tired and the clock just keeps ticking and the arrows keep missing and I'm worried I'll waste everything I've been given and someone will find out and tell me it's time to get older and older older and older But now I've cleaned up and the apartment is back and I even unloaded the dish drying rack and today I'll make spreadsheets and I'll pay all my bills and I'll buy a new toothbrush and vitamin pills and everyone will see, I'm together as can be And I'll laugh off my worries, compassionately But I'm still never sure if I'm doing it right So for now I'll give up and just do drugs all night And say bless this mess that we live in Oh, bless this mess that we live in All this shit we don't fix 'cause we're.... not 26 anymore but The age when we call ourselves grown ups just keeps getting older

credits

released October 6, 2015

Words & Music by Rachel Lark
except "You Kinda Hate Girls" which was co-written by Kate Willett
Recorded, mixed, & mastered by Jerad Fox
Cover artwork by Evan Spiler

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Rachel Lark California

💕🔥songwriter and love critic🔥💕
creator of Coming Soon: A New Rock Musical

shows

contact / help

Contact Rachel Lark

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Rachel Lark, you may also like: